I live in the future. It's corny, but when I think about this I often think of Yoda repremanding a pre-jedi Luke Skywalker:
"All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless. "
I get my nerd points for the day.
I am always most excited when I am making plans for the future and if you ask me what I have done this week, or today, I have to think before I can give an answer. Often I really have no idea.
I think this is why I have been attached by a sudden and unexplicable anxiety over the last few days: All the sudden I have a plan that I can't argue with and have no reason to change. I have a community I love, ways to be of service both to the Faith and to the community (via this new job) good friends, enough money.
I am terrified by the prospect of settling down. I don't not having an end to the current phase of my life in site has never happened to me before. I still want to see the world. I still want to learn 15 languages and meet all kinds of people. Am I being silly? I'm not sure if what I am really interested in is learning about the world and serving in all kinds of places or if I am just being selfish and I just need to get over it and realize that the place I can make the most impact in the world is here and now.
1 comment:
we love you!! you cannot leave,a dn if you ever do, it has to be after we are gone :)
settling down is exciting, i think... this is the longest I have been at a place (snce i was 16) and I am feeling like leaving too! but I guess thats life... I have been thinking about this a lot because my freinds tell me that since i am married I cannot be "free" anymore adn travel... but I still can, if I make it a priority, and I have!
so you too... you can stay here and serve your heart out, and save money and every summer or whenever treat yourself to a teaching trip in Nepal, Ecuador or Bulgaria:)
see you saturday!
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