An interesting week

I guess the first part of this week was rough. These were the factors that seemed to be involved:

1) It can really be tough to have a job where there is nothing to do all day. Last week was impressive, aside from answering the phones a couple of times, I did no work. At all. I looked busy, but in fact my activities consisted of creating a myspace account, searching for friends and playing spades on the computer. Yet again in this week, my boss asked (well, maybe it was closer to begging this time) for me to stay on next year as staff (salary, benefits etc. included) I don't think I want to stay. I have always said that money would not ever be a priority with me, but service. Now I have to think about that in real time. This job is great for being an active Baha'i, I can do whatever I need to paperwork wise during the day and I am free all nights and weekends to support community activities, and the money will make it easier to get savings together so that I can pioneer, but working this job seems dishonest almost. I do not earn anything. I do not create anything.

2) I was also tired. This weekend's holy day celebration was amazing. I was really happy with how it went, but getting everything ready was a lot of work. I have not really recovered. I needed sleep and rest, but I had too many things to do.

3) And I was stressing about people. Living with people, although I would not like to live alone, is hard. It was hard at school. It was hard on year of service. It's hard with family. And it's hard now. And friends. They are complicated too and hard to communicate with.

I thought these were the issues that were making me crazy, and they were, but the solution turned out to be one I should have seen all along. This time change has totally thrown off my prayer schedule. There is no time for a spiritual practice after work, because it's already dark and I'm too tired to say the long one. It took me until yesterday to realize the sun was not going to go down any later tomorrow and change my life accordingly. That, accompanied by a little tablet of Ahmad action and see the results:

a) I got to work yesterday and was asked to help alleviate an emergency by driving a co-worker to Raton for the day (much more interesting than a computer screen and being out and seeing the beauty of the country was just what I needed)

b) One of my core activities just got a lot easier. There are a few people who can help me and I will not have to give up every Saturday (my only free day)

c) I was suddenly able to come up with some ideas that will make my home life much better and less stressful.

So yeah, prayer works. I could really use more though. I can't really go into the most perplexing thing in my life right now, but I am in a serious catch 22 and could use some Divine assistance.