Kam Kam Ruz be Ruz

2007-10-25T12:41:00.001-06:00

<b>Dumbledore is Gay!<b>

After reading briefly from her mega-selling book, Harry Potter and the
Deathly Hallows, on Friday night, Rowling took questions from an audience
of 1,600 students. A 19-year-old from Colorado asked about the avuncular
headmaster of Hogwarts School: 'Did Dumbledore, who believed in the
prevailing power of love, ever fall in love himself?'
The author replied: 'My truthful answer to you...I always thought of
Dumbledore as gay.' The audience reportedly fell silent - then erupted
into prolonged applause.

Rowling, 42, continued: 'Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald [a bad
wizard he defeated long ago], and that added to his horror when
Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it
excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to
an extent, but he met someone as brilliant as he was and, rather like
Bellatrix, he was very drawn to this brilliant person and horribly,
terribly let down by him.'

She added: 'Yeah, that's how I always saw Dumbledore. In fact, recently I
was in a script read-through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore
saying a line to Harry early in the script saying, "I knew a girl once,
whose hair..." I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it
along to the scriptwriter, "Dumbledore's gay!"'

http://stoopidamerikana.blogspot.com/

http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2196147,00.html

2007-10-24T12:08:00.001-06:00

Things that are new:

I have a home by myself. I like living alone and being totally in charge
of myself and my time. I am still sometimes amazed by the fact that I am
an adult. I don't know if other people wonder about this. The idea of
living my own life is just as exciting and mysterious now as it was when I
was 12.

I like the friends that I am getting to know. I love the way social
circles expand and change and the fact that I am always meeting new and
interesting people. There is nothing like the feeling of meeting a new
friend and hanging out together all night or all week, just to enjoy each
others company and conversation. The world can never be boring if there
are always new people to meet and know in all their complexity.

Growth. There are many things about myself that need to grow and change. I
prefer to ignore those things and live in the relm of things that are in
my control, but recently I think I have taken great steps toward making
myself a more healthy and complete person. I am thankful for this, and
also frightened about delving into these parts of myself.

My job. The job I have is not the perfect place I appeared to be from the
outside. I think I knew it would not be. However the people here are
really trying to do good and I have so much to learn from them. This is
the first time in a long time, maybe ever, that I have been in a place
where there was so much to learn. Such a long learning curve is hard for
my controlling personality, but it is good for me. I like it.

Ent Wife

2007-05-17T11:20:00.000-06:00

This is one of the most beautiful and amazing pictures I have seen in a long time. (thanks Forest for letting me steal your work)

Excitement

2007-05-10T10:06:00.000-06:00

I keep posting nostalgic and pessimistic things. I don't know why, because my life is awesome!

Starting Saturday we are going to have a HUGE teaching project! I find myself not even able to be excited enough because I have never done anything like this, so I don't know what to expect. I am really happy about it though... Children's classes every day.... the chance to meet all kinds of new people and make spiritual connections with them... :-)

This weekend my junior youth group is working together to make a movie. It's not really a project of the group, I think... the lines between Animator and just friends activities are seriously blurred in this group. I even feel weird calling it a youth group sometimes. These people are my friends and we do stuff we like, including study a book, service and art sometimes, but a lot of the times just talking.

In general, I am blown away by the effectiveness of the core activities in creating intimacy in groups. Study circles I have tutored and been in are still dear friends that I rely on in teaching activities and in life, children's classes I teach are creating bonds between not only me and the children, but also with me and the families of the children and most importantly right now, animating is creating bonds I would never have imagined. I think it will take some time to realize how important this is in our community. I think (and here the alternative education brainwash-ee is unleashed) that schools/society as it is structured are training us away from unity in our very infancy. The emphasis that is placed on children having the ability to interact with their peers (who consist mostly of classmate, grade lines being almost impossible social barriers) makes us think that our intimate connections should be only with people like ourselves. Not children, or youth or the middle aged or old. This is completely false and dangerous for our communities. The intimacy of core activities is helping us to break those are lines and interact, really and truly, like family.

Also, I have been looking at apartments this week and having a great time thinking about where I am going to live and the communities I want to be a part of. Aside from the fact that I keep finding places that I can't rent because I can't move until July, I am loving figuring out how this is all going to work.

Moving On

2007-05-10T09:36:00.000-06:00

On Saturday, Earlham graduated the class of 2007. I remember last year when I was in the same place last year... Finals had taken forever, my thesis was over, family from everywhere had descended on my school home... I don't think I really had time to be sad.

It has hit me this year though. I think its because with the exodus of this class, I really don't know anyone at Earlham anymore. And most of them, I will never see again, even though they really did mean allot to me. If I go to visit now, my home that I loved so much will not be my home. It will be a series of strangers going through some of the first steps in figuring out who they are. I can't call Earlham anymore and expect someone I know to answer the phone. The community that I cherished, that we all cherished, is completely shattered for me.

everyone should see Avenue Q, it's a musical, it's pretty much rent, but done with muppets. I keep thinking of one of the songs.....

KATE MONSTER:
I wish I could go back to college.
Life was so simple back then.

NICKY:
What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again!

PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!"

ALL:
How do I go back to college?
I don't know who I am anymore!

PRINCETON:
I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door!
Ohhh...
I wish I could just drop a class...

NICKY:
Or get into a play...

KATE MONSTER:
Or change my major...

PRINCETON:
Or fuck my T.A.

ALL:
I need an academic advisor to point the way!
We could be...
Sitting in the computer lab,
4 A.M. before the final paper is due,
Cursing the world 'cause I didn't start sooner,
And seeing the rest of the class there, too!

PRINCETON:
I wish I could go back to college!

ALL:
How do I go back to college?!
AHHHH...

PRINCETON:
I wish I had taken more pictures.

NICKY:
But if I were to go back to college,
Think what a loser I'd be-
I'd walk through the quad,
And think "Oh my God..."

ALL:
"These kids are so much younger than me."

Friendly World Empire

2007-05-01T13:47:00.000-06:00

There are many corporations that I really think have too much power. The fact that Coca Cola is the worlds most known word is sad. There's nothing all that wrong with microsoft, but I just don't like them much. Superpower. Annoying.

However, I am coming to the conclusion that Google will take over the world and I will be fine with that. First of all, many of us have seen the google bombs that are so much fun. If you haven't, go type in right now French Military Victories and enjoy a laugh. Then for an even better joke, go look up directions from New York, New York to Paris, France on Google Maps. I really laughed out loud on that one.

Take a look at some of the excerpts from the company code:

e. Our Dog Policy
Google's respect and affection for our canine friends is an integral facet of our corporate culture.

We have nothing against cats, per se, but we're a dog company, so as a general rule we feel cats visiting our campus would be fairly stressed out.

What's a Google?

"Googol" is the mathematical term for a 1 followed by 100 zeros. The term was coined by Milton Sirotta, nephew of American mathematician Edward Kasner, and was popularized in the book, "Mathematics and the Imagination" by Kasner and James Newman. Google's play on the term reflects the company's mission to organize the immense amount of information available on the web.

Code of Conduct: Preface

Our informal corporate motto is "Don't be evil." We Googlers generally relate those words to the way we serve our users—as well we should. But being "a different kind of company" encompasses more than the products we make and the business we're building; it means making sure that our core values inform our conduct in all aspects of our lives as Google employees.

“Aren’t ‘X’ billion pages enough? Who needs more search results?” I hear questions like this often. The answer is, “We all do.” When you are looking for something specific, like a particular person or place, comprehensiveness is the difference between finding a long-lost relative or love, and not.

Company Overview

Google's mission is to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.

As a first step to fulfilling that mission, Google's founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin developed a new approach to online search that took root in a Stanford University dorm room and quickly spread to information seekers around the globe. Google is now widely recognized as the world's largest search engine -- an easy-to-use free service that usually returns relevant results in a fraction of a second.

I still think all businesses should be a little more like non-profits and that no one business needs to have quarterly profits of over 3,500 Million dollars. I know it's still a business though, and that's the way they work right now. But overall, I just really like Google. My cousin wants to work there because they encourage individual projects from employees. Things like blogger and gmail have come from these Friday projects. Happy employees, happy us.

Music Education

2007-04-26T13:03:00.000-06:00

When I was growing up, I had everything a nice middle class kid should: a few years of softball, one of basketball, three or four of soccer, ballet as a preschooler, summer camps in middle school, and music lessons. It was the music lessons I really liked, so I got to have them. Three years in a choir then 10 or so of private lessons in voice and 3 in piano. None of this includes college. In Highschool, I didn't have a lot of friends at times, but I always had that musical outlet. I would practice for hours a day in highschool and everyone was proud when I had my little recitals and such.

What do I carry of this education with me today? Well, I have gained a keen appriciation of music. I love the sound of the human voice and of beautiful melodies, but I was never taught to read music, so I cannot recreate music for others unless I learn with a teacher, by rote. I understand music theory and can tell you all kinds of things about how many flats and sharps there are in cord or the names of parts in italian, but I cannot create music of my own. I learned to imitate the music of masters and to do with my voice exactly what is asked by others, but along with 10 years of striving for perfection, I have lost faith in the beauty of my own voice as it is, without weeks of prep work on a piece.

In short, I have all the ability of a classically trained musician, but there was never a component of service in this education so I cannot write my own music or learn new songs without help or accompany myself or do any of the things that would make music alive for me now. So when the love of beauty my soul has developed arises in me, I have no outlet. I can sing songs I know or learn with a CD, but I have no ability to express myself, only to express the work of others. It's frustrating and stifling.

I see other youth go through this. Ballet dancers that cannot free themselves enough to try the electric slide, or who are unable to learn Salsa or Swing. And other singers, who know nothing but how to regurgitate the art of others.

I am just realizing this about myself and I think soon I will be ready to start unlearning some of the things I have been taught. I think I will find someone soon, a friend perhaps, who will teach me to play the guitar some and I will try to start again and practice the care free attitude we all should have about art and just learn to create. It's time for a re-learning, and this time, I will develop what I can share with others and what will allow me to help create the beauty in the world.

Cold Feet

2007-04-25T14:31:00.000-06:00

I live in the future. It's corny, but when I think about this I often think of Yoda repremanding a pre-jedi Luke Skywalker:

"All his life has he looked away... to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless. "

I get my nerd points for the day.

I am always most excited when I am making plans for the future and if you ask me what I have done this week, or today, I have to think before I can give an answer. Often I really have no idea.

I think this is why I have been attached by a sudden and unexplicable anxiety over the last few days: All the sudden I have a plan that I can't argue with and have no reason to change. I have a community I love, ways to be of service both to the Faith and to the community (via this new job) good friends, enough money.

I am terrified by the prospect of settling down. I don't not having an end to the current phase of my life in site has never happened to me before. I still want to see the world. I still want to learn 15 languages and meet all kinds of people. Am I being silly? I'm not sure if what I am really interested in is learning about the world and serving in all kinds of places or if I am just being selfish and I just need to get over it and realize that the place I can make the most impact in the world is here and now.

Best Ruhi Video Ever. Check it out!

2007-04-23T19:15:00.000-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz3TjDvAYkg

Update and Rant

2007-04-23T13:49:00.000-06:00

WARNING: the following is a rant. This is not by favorite form of blogging or even of self expression, but it is printed here as it is in my head. You have been warned. There is no need to plow ahead unsuspecting.

Social interactions are a PAIN! examples:

When I meet a new group of people I am SICK of having to think about whether I can expect a confused and cold shoulder when I cannot/will not drink or do other untoward things with them.

I know I really shouldn't see it this way (but maybe I should?) but I am tired of keeping guy friends just a little distant so that they will not think I am interested in them. How am I supposed to interact with a world that sees dating as normal when I know it's not really

I am fed up with being seen as a square. My heroes and those I strive to be like are absolute revolutionaries, and my love of Baha'u'llah is a prize i would never trade, but seeing myself through the eyes of others makes me tired. I feel nothing like a revolutionary some days. I feel old and boring before my time.

I want out of the oppression of age. I met someone recently who refused to tell her age, because she said it was irrelevant. I agree. I want free of the questions that bounce in my head about my good friends who are much younger or older than me.

I hate the trappings of racism in me. I hate what I see when I look honestly at myself and see how much effort it takes to interact with people who are different than me. The fear I still have.

I am so frustrated by the way I judge people. I don't really know how I should respond to friends that drink or do drugs or have sex irresponsibly, but I want to much to believe I really am free of judgement. I want to really convince everyone I know (including me) that this is what I do, this is not what I want for anyone else. that these are my choices, no one Else's...

I am sick of the intellectual exercise that social interaction is for me and if it was not for the craving my soul has for loving and being loved by other wonderful people in the world, I would just quit. But I love people and I can think of no worse fate then not having them around all the time.

I told you this was a rant. Whew! now I feel better.

UPDATE:

I did get the job. They wrote me today and offered a job description for me. Today the universe is just falling in line for me. I am excited about the work I will have, the great community I will be moving into, and the upcoming IPG. Everything seems great. I am very content.

New Job :-)

2007-04-20T10:21:00.000-06:00

I just had a great interview. It's so ironic that I get bored in life and feel like I am wasting away if I am not making 18 glamorous plans for the future at the same time*, but at the same time I feel so happy and relieved when one of them works out and I know for sure what I will be doing. It puts an end to my dreaming and scheming for a while, but it leaves me feeling less confused and lost in the universe.

(*In my head most of the time: First I'll adopt a kid, unless I go to China first, but if I go to China for a year I should go to Mexico and bum around for a few months first. Maybe I should learn Navajo and go live and pioneer on the rez... Why don't I start a non-profit. I should apply to serve at the holy land and then get a degree in social work....)

So this interview was at this great little school in the South Valley. The South Valley is almost all Spanish speaking, is ridiculously over populated and under developed and as a result, the big high school there has an over 70% dropout rate. I know that's true of the a lot of schools, but I am young and sheltered and naive and that is a crazy statistic for me. 70%?!?! So the only other high school available is this little tiny charter school. 200 students. Service learning magnet. College prep. Same kids, new higher expectations. The teachers run the school completely and work really hard to make it work well. I love this idea. This is exactly the kind of place I want to be associated with.

So I had an interview there today for an educational assistant position. Student advising (which is all hardcore at this school, no one gets sent to the principle, they get sent to their advisor.) substitute teaching, and clerical work. So they were asking all the standard questions blah blah great interview, then the head teacher stopped and he was like, "look: your really kind of over qualified for this position. What is it you want to do here? are you looking to become a teacher? service learning coordinator? What do you want to do? because you will need more in a job than just this." That's a good interview. So I have no idea what the position will look like, but they told me they would consult together and then talk to me about what they could do. They mentioned getting alternative certification and teaching and they mentioned giving me an ESL class right away.

I would love to be able to do less administrative work and to get summers off, but I will have to see if they can offer me that. I think those are some of the core requirements they are looking for, but I really don't know, they do want to create, or at least alter a position for me, so who knows...

Anyways. This is making me happy. The details are still coming, but I know I will be employed next year, I may not make a ton of money, but I will have benefits. I know I will like the organization a lot and that I will get to work with youth again and get out of the office. I know I will be breaking out, to some extent, from the white middle class bubble I am still living in despite making not enough money to be middle class and living in a city that is far more brown than white. I still need to figure out where I am going to live, but that will not be too hard and once I know what my salary will be, I can make that decision with more confidence.

I am happy. I hope they call back soon.....

Connections in the Blogosphere

2007-04-19T10:34:00.000-06:00

I spent a little time browsing other people's blogs today. Its so interesting to see into other people's worlds. It makes me feel so connected to people and makes me realize how connected we all are.

Here are some of the fun things I found and my reflections on them. I see in these little glimpses both the establishment of a beautiful new world and the decay and death of things we have outgrown.

I am amazed by people and theirSpiritual Journeys. I am especially impressed by the honest and pure way of seeking I have always seen in Asian cuture. China really is the future. But at the same time people of all faiths are searching and learning and coming closer all the time to God it their own ways.

I love languages. I couldn’t read a lot of the blogs I came across and that always leaves me feeling frustrated and separated from my global brothers and sisters, but this History of the Alphabet made me feel better. This is one world civilization and always has been. Recently though, the world has really changed. Some of it has been for the benefit of humankind, and some is just superfluous craziness. Either way, the evidence that “the world’s equilibrium has been upset” is amazingly clear.

I found some of Sjona’s and Stephen’s competitors and I can’t wait to try these recipies!

Joseph’s Kitchen

Hands in the Dough

I found something to feed my secret love of Anime which will be (I’m sure) much more indulged in some future time when I have good internet at home and a DVD player. (I’m not materialistic)

But mostly what I ran across was just glimpses of people. I heard a commentary by the guy who runs Craig’s on NPR not to long ago. He said he really people are inherently good and will do what they can to help someone out. I feel like in these sparks of life that people write down, they let us see through to their beauty. Through stories and art, special journeys or just daily life written down we get to see and learn the beauty of others.

Children's Classes

2007-04-19T09:51:00.000-06:00

I am reflecting this morning about the Ruhi book 3a course I took over the last three weekends and on children's classes in general in our community.

I think it has taken me a while to come to appriciate these classes, I know for the first few weeks I hardly planned and I was already getting tired of offering the classes and was looking for a way to give it away.

Really sitting back to think about children's classes these last three weekends gave me a chance to reflect on how difficult all new tasks are. I remember one of the first times I was asked to tutor an intensive; I was asked to go to Louhelen for two weekends (during the fast no less) and work with a group on book 4 that had pledged to finish the sequence by the end of the five year plan. I hated it. I didn't want to go back the second weekend. The people just sat that and quickly made thier way through the book and I could not figure out how to make them slow down and reflect and skill build.

God loves laughter. The next 4 or 5 study circles I tutored were all book 4. I learned it backwards and forwards. Even though I am now quite happy to take a brake and tutor other books, I have developed the confidence and skills I need to make a study circle or intensive meaningful and skills based.

I think children's classes are the same way. I have not had a whole lot of experience in teaching here and I was certainly not pouring my heart into it like I need to. I think with time and experience I will become an excellent children's class teacher and that as my skills grow, I will love the classes more and more, just like the kids will.

This is all fine and dandy for me, but where I am really happy about this thought is in the context of the community here. Right now not many people want to teach classes. We have over 100 trained book 3 resources, but none of them want to teach a class. Most are really scared and think it's not a job they have to do, it should be done by people with childcare experience. Mothers. Teachers. Not them. I think this will change as the community gains confidence. All they need is some encouraging experiences and they will then understand what the House of Justice is asking for and they will do it joyfully, and soon, skillfully.

2007-04-19T09:06:00.000-06:00

I found this picture on the myspace of someone from my home town. It made me happy, so I wanted to share it.

The Cow god, as many call it, is about the only thing in Cypress Inn TN. I don't mean the only thing of interest, I mean the only thing. There are a few houses scattered over a few miles, a church, a beer store that sells lotto tickets to people from Alabama, where it's illegal to sell them, a post office*, and the Cow god, standing alone in a field.

*the post office is a little cinderblock building that looks more like a storm shelter or root cellar than anything else. No one thought to include windows. It's in the front yard of the post master, who spends his days working on the tractor outside in the sun more of the time.

Love all.

I want to be a Foster Parent

2007-03-19T15:23:00.000-06:00

I really do. I have always kind of vaguely had it in mind for the future, and I know I can't do it right away, but I really like the idea. I want to do it. I am old enough, I really just have to get a job that will pay enough for me to have two bedrooms, then I can do it. I love the idea of connecting with youth that really need it. That I can show them new ideas and help them make it through.

I need a new job after this summer. What am I going to do with my life??

A Friends told me this story via E-mail. I found it really inspiring.

2007-02-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

The following story tells of the rewards of steadfastness and obedience. It was written by Dr. Farhan Yazdani, a Baha'i pioneer in Tahiti. He has given permission to share it freely.....

"My parents arrived in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanganyika, in 1952 for the 10-Year-Crusade and, in 1954, my grandmother, Mrs. Zarrintaj Afroukhteh arrived as a pioneer but died shortly later. She had requested a Baha'i cemetery and the NSA made an application that was accepted, and a lot was allocated to the Baha'i community within the European Cemetery where she was laid to rest.

Some time later, one of our earliest African Baha'is, Mr. Leslie Matola, who had translated "Baha'u'llah and the New Era" into Kiswahili died. The community prepared for his burial in the Baha'i Cemetery, but this project met with a strong opposition from the British authorities, as it was illegal under British apartheid to bury a black person in a white cemetery. The NSA stood firmly for Baha'i principles and the authorities yielded and, soon, to the astonishment of all, a multicolored community wound its way into the European Cemetery, taking Leslie Matola to his last resting place. Time went by and Tanganyika became an independent state in 1962. The indigenous population took on the government, apartheid was abolished and the country merged with Zanzibar to be called Tanzania.

In 1970s, after some 19 years, one of the goals of the 9-Year-Plan was the election of an LSA in Pemba, a small Muslim-populated island off the East African Coast where the Baha'is needed help for organising the election. My mother, Mrs. Farzaneh Afroukhteh-Yazdani, was sent as an NSA member to meet the Baha'is and to prepare for the election. Arriving on the island, she found that there were no taxis and that the believers, who had no phones, were dispersed in areas where she could not hope to reach on foot and where only 4-wheel-drive vehicles could access. Seeking information at the police station, she met the Chief Constable who asked why she wanted to visit these people. She replied that they were local Baha'is that she wanted to meet. On hearing this, the Chief Constable called in his officers and asked one of them to show my mother around the island with the Police Land Rover. Her mission was a success and she met all the believers around the island and the LSA was elected.

When she returned to the Police Station she thanked the Chief Constable, who replied that it was an honour for him to help the Baha'is as Baha'is were people who kept their promises. When she asked why, he replied that he was Leslie Matola's grandson and had attended the funeral and noticed the firmness of Baha'is in upholding their principle of racial unity."

So excited....

2007-02-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

So Kat and I have decided to throw a huge a Ayyam-i-ha Party! I am so excited. I made invitations this week and I have been inviting everyone. All of you have to come. We figured out the most optimal way to arrange chairs and couches and such and think we an get 30 to 40 into the house quite nicely. Trust us. hehe.

We are going to have a ton of food and tons of people and children and games and part favors and decorations. I can't wait.

All you reading this: I will get you an invitation soon, but you all should know this. You must bring a non-Baha'i. This is an outwardly oriented party.

If you don't bring someone, OK, we love you, come anyway, but bring food as a recompence.

Ok, if you can't cook, still come. yay Ayyam-i-ha! This party will be one you don't want to miss, I promise! It will be Saturday the 24th at 3pm.

Yeah, I'm bad at posting often

2007-01-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

I loved taking the animator training this month. It's been three years since I could just sit back and TAKE a course and not worry about tutoring. It's so much more fun to see the material for the first time! I am not very good at being a participant though. I had to stifle to strong urge to tutor, and sometimes the urge won.

Studying about Junior Youth helped me so much to put into perspective my own goals and ideas. I am so excited now about finding a way to work with youth in a career sort of way. At the same time, that means I have to find a way to do it and I don't really now where to start. I don't want to be a teacher. I'm not really interested in social work and although money is not a high priority, I would prefer not to starve. This does not leave any obvious options, but I know I'll be able to make it work.

My good friend Justin came to visit this week. It was so good to see him. I had forgotten how good it is to really talk about religion and belief and goals and ideals. Its so easy to really focus on the fundamental truths of the religion of God when talking with someone who is not Baha'i.

Topics of Conversation:

God's Calling in our lives

The role of Youth in Religious life

The spirituality of appropriate sexuality

Using interfiath dialouge to strengthen spirituality, not water it down

I miss having friends of other faiths around. Sometimes I learn much more from these others than from Baha'is because as Baha'is I tend to feel like we all know the same stuff and we do not seek a more profound understanding, just a more complex one. When I study personally the faith, I so often fall into the trap of wanting to know minute details about Baha'i history, trivia, administrative guidance, huququ etc and I forget that what my soul really needs is to remember the simple and stunningly profound Truths that I can find in any holy book. It was good to see Justin.

The Tabernacle of Unity

2006-11-23T10:21:00.000-07:00

It took me forever to get through this book. Each time I picked it up a read some and what I saw was so rich and majestic I had to stop after a few pages.

The last tablet still has my heart thorbing.

Ya Baha'u'l-Abha!

I am so in love with the Guardian

2006-11-22T09:41:00.000-07:00

this is the most amazing post. I already have three books I am reading and love but don't have time to finish them and now I have a new desire to read Shoghi Effendi and all the books that informed him!

06:55 pm - searching for a source... (Taken from Livejournal ljbahai group)

On page 168 of The World Order of Bahá'u'lláh, Shoghi Effendi writes:Amidst the shadows which are increasingly gathering about us we can faintly discern the glimmerings of Bahá'u'lláh's unearthly sovereignty appearing fitfully on the horizon of history. To us, the "generation of the half-light," living at a time which may be designated as the period of the incubation of the World Commonwealth envisaged by Bahá'u'lláh, has been assigned a task whose high privilege we can never sufficiently appreciate, and the arduousness of 169 which we can as yet but dimly recognize. We may well believe, we who are called upon to experience the operation of the dark forces destined to unloose a flood of agonizing afflictions, that the darkest hour that must precede the dawn of the Golden Age of our Faith has not yet struck. Deep as is the gloom that already encircles the world, the afflictive ordeals which that world is to suffer are still in preparation, nor can their blackness be as yet imagined. We stand on the threshold of an age whose convulsions proclaim alike the death-pangs of the old order and the birth-pangs of the new. Through the generating influence of the Faith announced by Bahá'u'lláh this New World Order may be said to have been conceived. We can, at the present moment, experience its stirrings in the womb of a travailing age -- an age waiting for the appointed hour at which it can cast its burden and yield its fairest fruit.

I'm curious about the "generation of the half-light" quote (though I've posted its larger setting because the rest of the paragraph makes a great quote on its own). He is quoting, I would assume, either Bahá'u'lláh or `Abdu'l-Bahá on this term, but I can't find any other context for it on Ocean, and so was wondering if anyone knew where it was first used. Any light shed on this is greatly appreciated!

Comment:

I ran the phrase through Google and there was mention on talisman that it's from H.G. Wells' "The Shape of Things to Come". Here's the message which talks about the source - it's near the bottom of the page (search for the phrase in the page).

I don't know for sure if it was indeed marked in Shoghi Effendi's copy of the book, but the phrase is certainly in "The Shape of Things to Come", in Chapter 2, in context of the birth of the Modern State. Interestingly, even H.G. Wells appears to be quoting the phrase (he uses quotation marks for it): (http://etext.library.adelaide.edu.au/w/wells/hg/w45th/chapter2.html)

He again mentions the conceptual metaphor of half light in Chapter 29.(the e-book for The Shape of Things to Come is HERE.)I'm guessing that H.G. Wells is either quoting William Archer who wrote "The Great Analysis - a plea for a rational world order", or Maxwell Brown's "Modern State Prophets Before the Great War" (the latter seems almost non-existent in Google-land).

That's some light shed, now I'm curious about the books that Shoghi Effendi read.

2006-11-20T11:25:00.001-07:00

My job cracks me up.

What does this sound like an agenda for:

1) Look over guidance of given for this three year period and gain new
inspiration to work toward common goals

2) Celebrate the achievements of this quarter

3) Look at goals for the up coming quarter of work

4) hear success stories from people in the field explaining how activities
should look

5) plan with a team from your area to achieve these goals with the help of
a centralized planning committee.

This is a patent Reflection gathering, no? I didn't even notice until I
finished the agenda. I didn't even write most of this, it was my
co-workers, but I swear my job is just like managing a cluster. It's eerie

An interesting week

2006-11-15T15:31:00.000-07:00

I guess the first part of this week was rough. These were the factors that seemed to be involved:

1) It can really be tough to have a job where there is nothing to do all day. Last week was impressive, aside from answering the phones a couple of times, I did no work. At all. I looked busy, but in fact my activities consisted of creating a myspace account, searching for friends and playing spades on the computer. Yet again in this week, my boss asked (well, maybe it was closer to begging this time) for me to stay on next year as staff (salary, benefits etc. included) I don't think I want to stay. I have always said that money would not ever be a priority with me, but service. Now I have to think about that in real time. This job is great for being an active Baha'i, I can do whatever I need to paperwork wise during the day and I am free all nights and weekends to support community activities, and the money will make it easier to get savings together so that I can pioneer, but working this job seems dishonest almost. I do not earn anything. I do not create anything.

2) I was also tired. This weekend's holy day celebration was amazing. I was really happy with how it went, but getting everything ready was a lot of work. I have not really recovered. I needed sleep and rest, but I had too many things to do.

3) And I was stressing about people. Living with people, although I would not like to live alone, is hard. It was hard at school. It was hard on year of service. It's hard with family. And it's hard now. And friends. They are complicated too and hard to communicate with.

I thought these were the issues that were making me crazy, and they were, but the solution turned out to be one I should have seen all along. This time change has totally thrown off my prayer schedule. There is no time for a spiritual practice after work, because it's already dark and I'm too tired to say the long one. It took me until yesterday to realize the sun was not going to go down any later tomorrow and change my life accordingly. That, accompanied by a little tablet of Ahmad action and see the results:

a) I got to work yesterday and was asked to help alleviate an emergency by driving a co-worker to Raton for the day (much more interesting than a computer screen and being out and seeing the beauty of the country was just what I needed)

b) One of my core activities just got a lot easier. There are a few people who can help me and I will not have to give up every Saturday (my only free day)

c) I was suddenly able to come up with some ideas that will make my home life much better and less stressful.

So yeah, prayer works. I could really use more though. I can't really go into the most perplexing thing in my life right now, but I am in a serious catch 22 and could use some Divine assistance.

Encouraged by the responce their actions elicit....

2006-11-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

The last few months have been such a rush.I graduated from College in May. I really miss the life I had there and more than anything the friends I left behind or who also moved away. I miss being constantly around people and having life be so seamless. There is nothing like the intensity of living with the people you work with and studying with the people you eat with and playing with the people with whom you pray. I still don't know. Maybe I should have stayed longer. Maybe its just my wander lust that made me decide I should graduate and leave. I will keep wondering i guess, that's ok, but am content with all of my fractured life here too.

In my new New Mexico home, there is little of the continuity of Earlham. My work ends and is left at in the office at five every day and Baha'i life is it's own spinning world. The friends and social life I have do not connect much with the first two. I have never lived like this. When I grew up, school work was the same as living and breathing and hobbies and friends did not seem to interrupt the flow of the universe. The lines are beggining to blur though, thanks to God, my real life is able to seep into other areas. At work, I am able to do Baha'i service sometimes as I have free time on the internet and my friends in many cases are people who come to or might soon come to the devotional or study circle at my home. It is so amazing to live in this cluster. Every day I am amazed (although I guess I shouldn't be) at the way in which everything that happens around me is just like the guidance of the House of Justice. I can't believe how easy it is. Living in C clusters for so many years, it seemed logical and reasonable that what I read about A clusters might happen someday, but it seemed so far off that I couldn't really connect to it. Now I see all around me people who start study circles in their homes and who invite one, two or dozens of people to share the Word to God with them. I see everywhere long time Baha'is with Ruhi Fever working so hard to finish the sequence and even more heartening, I see new Baha'is on fire in their love for Baha'u'llah and leading the community in service to the cluster as a whole.

I got to go to a devotional gathering last night that my friend Daniel hosted. It was so cute. He just became a Baha'i a couple of weeks ago and this was his first devotional. As soon as he became a Baha'i, he was ready to serve. I think he will teach me what it really means to give a home visit and he will teach me what it means to be unrestrained as the wind in my teaching. How many Baha'is get a seeker at their first devotional gathering? How many Baha'is sit there and teach for an hour before even calming down enough to pray? He was so excited today that he called me three times during the day to ask about some little aspect of the devotional and to invite me to come early if I could and to tell me to come hungry because he was making dinner. I am so excited to live in a community with this kind of enthusiasm.